Tuesday, July 31, 2007

a love letter to myself

(memories of days gone by)

"To truly love someone means that you love that person without expecting to be loved in return."


I feel the most alive when i stay true to my feelings. Whether love is in the head or in the heart doesn't really matter. What matters is that I'm happy loving the person I love even though the feeling isn't reciprocated. Others may see my desperation, my anguish, my hurt... yet like a person about to die from an accident but miraculously survives.. life is so much sweeter the second time around and the same can be said with love.

She may not be the one. She may not be my soulmate. She might just be somebody who will teach me how to love - a single soul in the myriads of souls I will meet in my lifetime. Yet I am still here; I am still here now; I am still in this moment of mixed confusion and enlightenment. I want to live here still. I want to cherish the fleeting moments of stillness and of passion.

In my selfishness, I don't want to ever let go. However, life goes on as THEY say. Everybody has to move on, to keep on changing, and to grow. When the time comes that I have to let go of her... I'll let go. I'll just hold on to her till the last millisecond.. nanosecond.. till the last breath. I love her. I always have and I always will. I just can't say it to her face.

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To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering, one must not love; but then one suffers from not loving. Therefore, to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer, to suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love; to be happy then is to suffer, but suffering makes one unhappy; therefore to be unhappy one must love or love to suffer or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down.

Monday, July 16, 2007

luna lovegood

i just watched Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix with my mom and sis today. the movie was kinda cool with the amazing visuals and stuff. still, it kinda left me hanging on the little stuff like luna lovegood's scenes with harry and the recruitment deal goin on with the races.. prolly cause i've read the book. still, it's a movie worth watching. i especially loved the luna lovegood. i think i have a crush on her. :D isn't she cute? hehe. and her voice... oh! don't get me started on her angelic voice. i just love the way she talks.. even in real life :D